Princess Beatrice is to stab and maim all famous gingers with a sword, starting with Chris Evans, the moment she has visited Ed Sheeran in hospital and finished the job she started according to Royal sources.
Chris Evans in hiding as Princess Beatrice vows to stab all famous gingers
November 27, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Conservative Government to make tough decisions due to financial mess inherited from themselves
November 24, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The Government are going to have to make some tough decisions due the appalling state of the public purse that they inherited from the last Government, which was themselves, according to Chancellor of the Exchequer Philip Hammond.
Trump “Nigel Farage must be Queen of England”
November 22, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Nigel Farage should be made Queen of England in order to preserve Britain’s special relationship with the USA, according to president elect Donald Trump.
Jim Davidson to run for Prime Minister
November 19, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Jim Davidson is to run for MP, leadership of the conservative party and Prime Minister in time for this years likely general election according to party sources. “People are too scared to slap a woman’s arse and do impressions of Indian people. I want an immediate return to 1970s intolerance and I’m going to criminalise […]
Daily Mail to cease trading as Google and Facebook ban fake news
November 15, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The owner of the Daily Mail has today confirmed rumours that the paper will cease all further publications in response to a crackdown on fake news.
Boris Johnson “We must all climb into Trump’s arse”
November 14, 2016 by 1 Comment
We must all climb into Donald Trump’s arse and deferentially do his bidding, blindly following his every xenophobic whim according to Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson.
Trump to just build half a wall
November 12, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Donald Trump will most likely build just half a wall on the US Mexico border instead of a whole one according to sources close to the President elect.
Putin outlines Trump’s induction week
November 10, 2016 by 2 Comments
Russian Premier Vladimir Putin has sent Donald Trump his firm offer of the job in the White House and outlined the itinerary for his induction week.
“Next time we’ll elect someone even worse” promise US voters
November 9, 2016 by Leave a Comment
US voters have promised that they will vote in someone even worse at the 2020 presidential elections if Donald Trump’s reforms fail to make America great again. “He oughta be alright. He’s racist, misogynistic and he mocks people with disabilities. And he thinks everyone should be armed to the teeth. So that should bring world […]
Waitress “unable” to exchange tomato for extra sausage on full English
November 3, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The Equality and Human Rights Commission has reported one of the worst cases of Disability discrimination following the sad tale of a waitress with afflictions so severe that she was unable to exchange tomato for an extra sausage on the menu of a full English breakfast.
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