The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Absolutely everyone is scaremongering about everything according to SNP leader and First Minister of Scotland Alex Salmond. Speaking on the Andrew Marr show, Mr Salmond explained “George Osborne, Ed Balls, Danny Alexander are all ruling out any shared currency agreements with an independent Scotland. They don’t mean it. They’re scaremongering. European Commission President Jose Manuel Barroso, […]
A spokesman for the British Chiropractic Association has gone on record to say “It’s all bollocks. It doesn’t do anything. We just like punching people in the back.” “You have to see it from our point of view. We tell you people that we can cure your back pain by punching you in the back […]
Supermarket chain Morrisons have come under fire today after suspicions from customers that their much advertised ‘Market Street’ actually isn’t one. One frustrated would be market trader told us “It’s infuriating. I’ve been turning up with a van load of bananas at 4am every morning for the last 8 years. You would have thought they’d […]
First it was horse. And now it’s a different type of horse. The food industry is again under the spotlight as it has emerged that as well as being high in salt and sugar, many brand name processed foods and ready meals actually contain a high percentage of heroin, in some cases significantly more that […]
Eighth in line to the throne Prince Edward has marked his 50th birthday today with the sad news that he will be retiring from the things that he does, whatever they might be, with immediate effect. Speaking from outside Buckingham Palace, where he was due to celebrate his half century with other royals and fellow […]
A Labour government will tax all bad people and give every single person a job according to new measures announced today by shadow chancellor Ed Balls. “Nobody likes bad people so it’s only fair that they contribute to a state orchestrated facade of full employment. We’ll be asking the public to demonise various stereotypes on […]
The new owners of South Parade Pier, who have asked to remain anonymous, have ruled out the possibility of an imminent, accidental fire leaving it irreparable but covered by insurance. A spokesman for the new mystery owner issues the following statement. “It is out of the question that the pier, which is said to require £3 […]
The BBC are facing mass public outrage, though not as mass as when 6 music was threatened with the chop, as the planned demise of BBC3 may mean that people won’t be able to watch that thing. One frustrated viewer told us “You know that thing with so and so in it. I never got […]
In Europe and America there’s a growing feeling of hysteria or so the song went. And fears are mounting today that amidst the worsening crisis in Ukraine and sabre rattling from Russian President Vladimir Putin, former Police front man Sting may be likely to release another anti-cold war song. A source close to Sting told […]
President of Russia Vladimir Putin has today promised that he will keep all invasions down to a minimum. Mr Putin has blamed foreign interference for him choosing to invade foreign countries but promised despite this he will be exercising restraint and will not be invading somewhere every day. “We will start every morning by asking […]
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