The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Scotland’s First Minister Alex Salmond has written to David Cameron to formally bagsy the pound in the event of Scotland choosing independence from the United Kingdom. Issuing a brief statement Mr Cameron said “Earlier this week, we explained that a vote for independence would mean walking away from the pound. We hadn’t fully anticipated that […]
Hard man Ray Winstone is getting set to confront the weather as part of new measures agreed at the most recent Government COBRA meeting. Speaking at a packed press conference Prime Minister David Cameron told us “The public can rest assured that we’re going to explore every avenue to help Britain through this meteorological crisis. […]
An independent Scotland will be forced to accept Alex Salmond as a life long President who is likely to desperately cling to power by force until he reaches his mid eighties according to a statement from Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking whilst fending off missiles being thrown at him by Somerset locals, the Premier warned […]
Andy Coulson was not in the office on the day a reporter allegedly played him a hacked voicemail message, as he was up the Faraway tree, the ex-News of the World editor’s barrister has confirmed. Journalist Dan Evans said on Tuesday that Mr Coulson had been “excited” on hearing the message left for James Bond […]
Danny Alexander is likely to be the only remaining member of The Liberal Democratic Party by 2015 according to a leading political think tank entrusted to predict who exactly is going to be left in the Liberal Democratic party by 2015. In a statement released this morning, the think tank argues “We have reason to […]
Bankers’ bonuses are to be paid in cheese according to Prime Minister David Cameron in a surprise U turn regarding the running of the state owned bank RBS. “Legally we can only make RBS do it, but we would urge other city based banks and financial institutions to do the same if they want to […]
Britain has been described as being in a perpetual state of celebration today as the New Years Honours list has made everybody a Lord. Prime Minister David Cameron heralded the scheme as a victory for common sense, and one in the eye for all naysayers. “It’s all been a bit difficult. We want to combine […]
A Government think tank has today called for talks regarding individualised styles of mild violence against particular animals. Speaking at a packed press conference the Prime Minister explained “We’re not going to be pushing for an immediate and outright ban. We’re merely saying if anyone has a pet monkey then they shouldn’t be spanking it […]
The Cabinet Office has announced that high cost phone lines which have overcharged victims of crime, widows and students are highly inappropriate, unless accompanied with some sort of verbal porn, preferably from the Ministers and heads of department themselves. David Cameron said yesterday that entirely free phone lines should be considered when callers are likely to […]
A new influx of migrants expected to all arrive at the same time on Jan 1st 2014 will steal the houses of hard working people brick by brick before barbecuing and eating any household pets, according to a stark warning issued today by the Daily Mail. Keep Britain Britishy campaigner and Daily Mail knee jerk […]
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