The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Queen is said by Royal sources to be ‘deeply disappointed’ that the President of Ireland who arrived today for a state visit is not actually Bono out of 1980s rock band U2. A palace insider told us “It was just a shock for her. Every time she turned on the TV that Bono was […]
The only humane way to cull badgers is by introducing them to alcohol, cigarettes and crack cocaine according to the Princess Royal. Speaking to BBC One’s Countryfile programme at her Gatcombe Park estate, Princess Anne explained “The trouble with badgers is they live quite a healthy lifestyle. All those root vegetables they scoff mean that […]
Eighth in line to the throne Prince Edward has marked his 50th birthday today with the sad news that he will be retiring from the things that he does, whatever they might be, with immediate effect. Speaking from outside Buckingham Palace, where he was due to celebrate his half century with other royals and fellow […]
Prince William has vowed today to save endangered species by shooting all other animals until their populations reach similarly low levels. Speaking to Royal correspondent Nicholas Witchell through a megaphone the youngish royal explained “There may be only a few thousand rhinos left but if we decimate the population of deer with a shoot fest, […]
The Prince of Wales has met residents and farmers in the flood-hit Somerset Levels to offer his congratulations on what is probably the biggest open air lido in the world, apart from some of the Great Lakes and the sea. Declaring the lido open and cutting some tape with a pair of scissors the Monarchic […]
Heir Apparent to the British throne Prince Charles has issued climate change deniers with one of his firmest rebuke yet “Stop running around like headless chickens and start taking note of the overwhelming scientific data. Unless it’s homeopathy.” Speaking at the Young Sustainability Entrepreneur awards, the apprentice King explained “All of a sudden, and with […]
The entire population of Sri Lanka have been spending the day running around an ever decreasing circle of chairs to music, having been forced to play musical chairs to celebrate Prince Charles’ birthday. In a lesser known condition of membership of the British Commonwealth, any hosting country is required to celebrate the birthday of any […]
The official indoctrination of Prince George into a bizarre state sponsored cult has taken place in the Chapel Royal at St James’s Palace in London. According to a Palace insider “it was a tough choice between Christianity, Islam, scientology and Neptune God of the sea but in the end Christianity offered the best rates with […]
Armed Officers working within the grounds of Buckingham Palace have been slammed for failing to intervene as Prince Andrew was yesterday attacked, mauled and finally eaten by a pack of marauding bears according to Royal sources. The news is the latest in a catalogue of incidents which arose as tax payer funded police failed to […]
Prince Philip will be seen in public for the first time in two months when he visits the Royal Society of Edinburgh on 12 August, a visit he reportedly intends to conduct bouncing up and down on a space hopper according to Royal sources. “He’s made it quite clear that at 92 if he is […]
News Toad 
You must be logged in to post a comment.