The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
President of Russia Vladimir Putin has today promised that he will keep all invasions down to a minimum. Mr Putin has blamed foreign interference for him choosing to invade foreign countries but promised despite this he will be exercising restraint and will not be invading somewhere every day. “We will start every morning by asking […]
The Egyptian Government have today confirmed that it’s military have achieved a scientific breakthrough in finding a cure for absolutely everything. The claims that in no way have anything to do with the upcoming Presidential elections have been hailed by army’s chief Field Marshal Abdul Fattah al-Sisi as the greatest breakthrough in modern human history, which […]
Russia has confirmed that it will not be breaking with Olympic tradition and will be marking the end of the Winter Olympics at Sochi by using all the snow to make a giant gay snowman. Russian President Vlamir Putin explained that the snowman would be bigger that the 150 foot gay snowman built at the […]
Supreme leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea Kim Jong-un is believed to have ordered the total elimination of all uncles. The terrifying purge started straight after the execution of his own uncle Jan Sung-Taek and is said to be demonstrating the leader’s ‘decisiveness’. A spokesman from Pyonyang told us “The decision has nothing to […]
Much of the worlds population have put their differences aside today to plead for the release of teenage crooner Justin Bieber who is facing charges of abusing policemen, taking drugs and driving like a cunt. Protests throughout the western world ranged from a mass “go to bed for 8 hours followed by breakfast” to an […]
Pope Francis has heralded a much needed change in direction today as a senior Italian cleric has been charged with merely laundering millions through the Vatican bank, as opposed to instigating or attempting to cover up any sort of sexual assault. Monsignor Nunzio Scarano, who is already on trial and under house arrest on separate charges of plotting […]
Russian President Vladimir Putin has said homosexuals will be welcome in Sochi for the Winter Olympics but warned them against spreading “gay propaganda” by sledging, skiing or snowboarding in a gay way. Speaking to a team of volunteers this morning the premier explained “We respect the right of four gay men to climb into a […]
In a surprise turnaround from the Australian High Court this morning, the new legislation banning gay marriage and annulling recent gay marriages is to be reversed again under a number of strict conditions. The law will now allow marriage between two men in the Australian Capital territory as long as one of them looks like a […]
A new Independent Scotland will operate as a musical according to SNP leader Alex Salmond’s white paper released today. Speaking to a packed Press Conference Mr Salmond explained “I have a vision of a new Scotland, singing and dancing together from first thing in the morning to just before bed time. Obviously I will be […]
Knock Knock. Who’s there? Well actually he wasn’t. But in many respects he was, as it took Doctor Who played by Hurt, Tennant and Smith to finally convince the world that Iran should really have nuclear power. An insider from the talks in Geneva explained “It was quite clear that no-one really had their heart […]
News Toad 
You must be logged in to post a comment.