Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn has told critics he will carry on sitting on the roof of trains and ducking at tunnels indefinitely, even if he becomes Prime Minister and whether there are seats available or not.
Government deny strangling kittens whilst media focus on the Olympics
August 16, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Prime Minister Theresa May has strenuously denied accusations that the cabinet have been strangling kittens whilst the media focus their attention on the Olympic games.
Lineker presents MOTD whilst taking a shit
August 14, 2016 by 1 Comment
Gary Lineker kept his promise and introduced the opening Match of the Day of the new season whilst taking a shit.
Trump shock at news shooting his opponent means he’ll just get another opponent
August 10, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Presidential hopeful Donald Trump has told of his shock today at finding out that if someone shoots Hilary Clinton he won’t automatically become President and the Democrats will just choose another opponent for him.
Labour to expel all its members
August 8, 2016 by 5 Comments
The Labour party is to expel all its members before they can vote in the forthcoming leadership election and choose the wrong leader, according to a senior party source today.
Modern medicine to blame as non-vaccinated people catch measles at festivals
August 8, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Pharmaceutical companies and so-called Doctors have been asked to account for the fact that people have been catching measles at festivals despite being at one with the earth and never having been vaccinated.
George Osborne’s dominatrix given knighthood
August 1, 2016 by Leave a Comment
George Osborne’s regular dominatrix has been awarded a knighthood today for services to pleasuring over privileged former public school boys with a piece of birch.
Trump to give USA back to Native Americans, move to Mexico and pay for a wall
July 31, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Donald Trump has vowed to return the USA back to native Americans, exile anyone not descended from original inhabitants, including himself, and move to Mexico where he will stop any future epidemics of mass migration such as the one that started in 1607 by Europeans, by building a wall which he himself would be paying for.
Bloke having crisis on Facebook found enjoying himself in pub
July 27, 2016 by Leave a Comment
A man having an apparent crisis on Facebook has been found safe and sound, not upset at all and enjoying a pint in his local.
“Promise our wages won’t go up” British workers implore May
July 27, 2016 by 1 Comment
British workers have asked Prime Minister Theresa May for cast iron guarantees that their wages will carry on falling, and to ensure that they don’t have enough money to pay bills and get ideas above their station.
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