The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Ku Klux Klan is to finally let black people become fully fledged members as long as they are prepared to wear silly hats, according to the press release issued today from the organisation. Appearing on the organisation’s website the message read “We’re all descended from immigrants anyway so we realised the futility in our […]
Glastonbury festival is thought to be under threat today following news that McCarthy and Stone have received planning permission to build a retirement complex just yards from where the main stage would normally be situated. Land owner Michael Eavis said “I was initially against the idea but then it occurred to me that I’ve had […]
The BBC used its influence as Britain’s most senior television channel to molest other TV channels over several decades, according to results of an inquiry released today. One industry source told us “It was all a picture of decency until the end of the day’s programmes. There was a quick round of God Save the […]
The French must apologise for their behaviour during the battle of Agincourt in the 15th Century, make a pledge to stop eating long bread and desist from saying aw-he-haw-he-haw according to London Mayor, Brexit campaigner and would be Prime Minister Boris Johnson. “We may have won the bloody battle but there were loads more on […]
Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan smith is reportedly so excited about the possibility of Britain leaving the European Union that he has gone on ahead and left Europe already. A source close to the shiny headed inequality monger said “He was like a cat on a hot tin roof. The thought of living on […]
The ‘Brexit’ campaign has gained momentum this morning following the news that it has a staunch supporter and campaigner in Her Majesty the Queen. In a rare statement to the press, her Majesty said “People are coming over here just for the benefits. They think we’re a soft touch and they’re probably right. For example […]
An unemployed white man with dreadlocks is still banging on about chemtrails, emboldened by the lack of evidence for them. Tarquin Moonbeam of Amersham, Buckinghamshire, came into the spotlight having broken two world records. One for talking about the same thing constantly for nigh on 20 years and the other for making a single pint […]
The Pope should stick to being a Muslim and stop criticising megalomaniac gun toting Christians, according to goose stepping presidential hopeful Donald Trump. Responding to the Pope’s argument that building a huge wall between USA and Mexico might be divisive and even unchristian, Mr Trump said he was not prepared to have his religion criticised […]
David Cameron has convinced other European countries to start driving on the left, as part of a new deal in the EU that includes other member states having eggs and bacon for breakfast and speaking English amongst themselves. Beaming proudly, a victorious Mr Cameron said “We want Britain to stay in the EU as a […]
The Republican party are today appealing for new presidential hopefuls following an incident earlier where all existing candidates shot each other. Front-runner Donald Trump repeatedly tangled with Texas Senator Ted Cruz and former Florida Governor Jeb Bush in a series of tense exchanges before all three began firing at each other, sporadically ducking behind their […]
News Toad 
You must be logged in to post a comment.