The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The political world has been turned on its head this morning following revelations that David Cameron’s “Big Society” might actually have been a load of old bollocks the whole time from its inception to the present day. Bertram Onions from the Royal Society for Things that are Total Bollocks (RSFTTATB) told us “It certainly fulfils […]
The word shit has been downgraded from swearing to merely slang according to new Government measures announced this morning. Speaking to a packed press conference Prime Minister David Cameron said “I can confirm that shit is now a perfectly normal word. Shitty shit. Shit shit shitterty shit. Shit.” The move is seen as yet another […]
The British Government is said to be “shocked, outraged, appalled” at revelations arising today that many of the countries we sell weapons of mass destruction may well end up using them. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference Prime Minister David Cameron said “We’re shocked, outraged and appalled. We have a strict policy of not […]
Students must offset their dire financial situation by altering their own physiology in order to gain sustenance from eating grass, according to new Government advice issued today. Newly appointed Education Secretary Nicky Morgan has pledged to create a lean mean education system with self sufficient students munching away on grass and hedgerows in lieu of […]
Former education secretary Michael Gove is still hanging around schools despite not having held the position for some time according to several headmasters. Speaking outside a local secondary school Mr Gove told us “I’m doing a spot check but they won’t let me in. They say I have no authority now, but I can do […]
Former Conservative Prime Minister and Union botherer Margaret Thatcher tried to cover up the city of Leeds according to explosive new allegations released in the Sunday Mirror today. Mrs Thatcher, who famously said “There’s no such thing as the North of England. Only the South, the Midlands and one or two odd little provinces inhabited […]
The Government is set to have more women to brighten the place up a bit, according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking on the Marr show the premier explained “We’ve been under fire for not having enough women in cabinet. And that’s obviously because we discuss politics and important men’s business. But if we’re being […]
The BBC and other television companies are facing further investigation today as news has emerged that every single celebrity, that we as normal people, look up to and aspire to, is not real and has actually been made out of plasticine by artist and former Vision On presenter Tony Hart. A remorseless and unrepentant Tony […]
Millions of public sector workers have today been for an organised walk with a spattering of recreational shouting in thanks to the Government for it’s austerity measures which have been widely seen as unequivocally improving the standard of living for one and all and making Britain great again. One teacher who was waving a ‘Hooray […]
Home Secretary Theresa May has today silenced critics accusing the Government of yet another cover up with the news that a new investigation will be headed by none other than animated canine martial arts themed law enforcer Hong Kong Phooey. Speaking to an unusually full house of MPs Mrs May explained “These are largely problems […]
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