The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Are you over 50? Do you live alone? Do your family live a long way away? If so do you own a Michael Parkinson? If not would you like one? If you already own one, would you like to own another one? Well now you can as you may well be entitled to a free […]
Britains religious leaders of all denominations have been called to account for the fact that worsening storm conditions may be caused by Gods arse. Dr Brian Cox told us “I’m a leading proponent of scientific explanations. But doesn’t take Einstein, or me for that matter, to work out that if we are all created by […]
Doctors, scientists and healthcare professionals have been left shame faced today after a proponent of reiki healing, Jay Diamond, asked them if they had ever seen a thought. Speaking on her morning show on Unity Radio she told her several listeners “People might think that reiki healing is simply made up nonsense used to earn a […]
Men who wear red trousers are rapidly increasing in numbers and infiltrating all levels of society according to reports released this week. BRTs as they are commonly known have historically inhabited seaside towns with a relatively low concentration of one per spare mile as due to their individualist nature they have tended to avoid their own […]
Britain is preparing itself for almost 100% migration following the news that it does after all have poisonous spiders, the only reason that people live here as opposed to somewhere nice and hot. It’s thought that the influx of false widow spiders is so widespread that every house will have one somewhere and most people […]
Britain must man up and stop reacting to alcohol like a girl according to a report from a Government think tank released this morning. The report commissioned by Prime Minister David Cameron has warned that Britain must get “drink fit” if it is going to keep up with the rest of Europe. Speaking at a […]
Hi I’m Michael Gove and I’m terribly upset by accusations that I am out of touch when I merely said poor people should manage their finances better instead of using food banks. It’s my fault for not being more specific, so I’d like to explain some money saving tips that have always worked for me […]
Poor people should be making nutritious meals out of their household pets according to TV chef Jamie Oliver. Taking a break from a busy day of shouting at patrons of a kebab shop in Basildon through a megaphone, the mockney grub stirrer told us “It’s outrageous. I visited some poor people as part of my […]
Religious leaders from all faiths have been asked to prove the existence of their various deities by the end of the month or refrain from wittering on and wearing silly hats, according to new Government measures announced this morning. A spokesman for the Coalition confirmed “Obviously we were going to have to legislate it sooner […]
It starts out as fun, then you have to pay money, then you find out we are descendants of aliens. Only when you finally decide it’s all bollocks and decide to knock the whole thing on the head that you start to get vans with blacked out windows permanently parked outside your house. To make […]
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