The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Education Secretary Michael Gove has publicly condemned the recent inclement weather spells which he has described as left wing and irresponsible. “If you look outside, it’s pissing it down again. And it’s quite clearly down to left wing academics, unions, public sector workers, professional bodies and anyone else who doesn’t vote for us. And the […]
Bankrupt British Nationalist Party Leader Nick griffin is embarking on a new life, living at one with nature in some woods, a BNP source confirmed this evening. “This has nothing to do with the fact that he’s broke and owes everybody money. He’s just pining for a time when Britain had very little in the […]
The Romanian and Bulgarian ambassadors to Britain have been summoned to Downing street for urgent talks this morning following the complete absence of the stampede of immigrants expected on New Years day. Prime Minister David Cameron explained “We were supposed to wake up on New years day to find them all camping on roundabouts and […]
Britain has been described as being in a perpetual state of celebration today as the New Years Honours list has made everybody a Lord. Prime Minister David Cameron heralded the scheme as a victory for common sense, and one in the eye for all naysayers. “It’s all been a bit difficult. We want to combine […]
Nigel Farage has promised to virtually abolish Britain’s rules on immigration providing immigrants are only visiting for the week-end. Speaking at a press conference this morning the strangely beagle like politician explained that he had had a rethink on the concept of a multicultural Britain. “I’ve had to have a rethink as it’s come to […]
The Cabinet Office has announced that high cost phone lines which have overcharged victims of crime, widows and students are highly inappropriate, unless accompanied with some sort of verbal porn, preferably from the Ministers and heads of department themselves. David Cameron said yesterday that entirely free phone lines should be considered when callers are likely to […]
A new influx of migrants expected to all arrive at the same time on Jan 1st 2014 will steal the houses of hard working people brick by brick before barbecuing and eating any household pets, according to a stark warning issued today by the Daily Mail. Keep Britain Britishy campaigner and Daily Mail knee jerk […]
People from the Newcastle area are going to have to adopt a Southern English dialect or risk losing benefits according to Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith. “I’ve had another epiphany. I was busy imposing tough new language tests for migrants and then I realised that half the country don’t speak English properly. Mainly […]
Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has hit back at critics who claim that he couldn’t run a piss up in a brewery with the clear response “I could. I could run a piss-up in a brewery.” “It’s just a clear, simple and concise system. Rather than make the beer in the brewery and […]
MPs have issued a cross party statement that whilst they will not be refusing to take their £7000 a year pay rise, they will be demonstrating their displeasure by refusing to enjoy it. David Cameron explained “Look, times are obviously very difficult for many people. So instead of awarding ourselves a huge pay rise, we […]
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