The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Prime Minister is said to be in good spirits this evening having just come out of an operation at St Mary’s hospital to have a UK built warship removed from his arse. The type 45 destroyer, manned by a large proportion of the population of Portsmouth is said to have left the Naval city […]
The Daily Mail have today pleaded with recent immigrants to stop contributing so efficiently to society as it may leave their readers with no focus for their hatred, forcing them to examine the inanity and hypocrisy of their own shallow lives. It also may affect the future of the paper itself. A study by University […]
Former News of the World editor Andy Coulson has firmly denied that asking a senior reporter investigating Callum Best to ‘do his phone’ suggested in an way tapping it or listening in on answer messages. Facing charges along with ‘evil Bonnie Langford’ Rebekah Brooks, Mr Coulson told the court “When I said ‘do his phone’ […]
The Sun newspaper has confirmed today that under recently increasing pressure from protest groups to ban boobs on page three, it has decided to keep them but offset them with a picture of a mans bollocks to make it fair. “It’s not fair that men have to buy the sun when they want to see […]
Britain is set to abolish the rule whereby every Police Officer must start at the bottom and work their way up, in order to give all senior positions to promising graduates, experienced managers from other sectors and mad as biscuits foreign police chiefs. Home Secretary Theresa May has frequently argued that a move away from […]
The fate of the beautiful game over the coming week is hanging in the balance following a statement by Environment secretary Owen Paterson that badgers have been moving the goalposts. “The badgers moved the goalposts. We’re dealing with a wild animal, subject to the vagaries of the weather,disease and breeding patterns, that likes nothing more […]
The Government have today been accused today of pandering to the wishes of hard working people. Speaking at a press conference this morning shouty number cruncher Eddie Balls warned that hard working people would not longer be able to expect an easy ride under a Labour administration. “First it was the bankers, then politicians, now […]
The government’s free schools programme is simply a front for creating religious dogma and forcing pupils to worship Michael Gove, according to campaigners. The National Secular Society said the growing influence of faith groups could undermine the integrity of Britain’s state schools, in particular when pupils are being taught that the world was created in […]
Companies and/or Governments who have been up to something or other have today been discussing whether or not they should continue with what they’re doing after revelations that some of the inevitable public protests may include celebrities. The added factor that some protesters may also be actors, singers or clothes designers has put things in […]
The Daily Mail has had to hire extra temporary staff to deal with the huge amount of post containing letters of apology from members of the British public. It appears this morning that despite many warnings from the Daily Mail over several decades, Jesus Xavier Disraeli aged 34 from Bolivia, arrived in Britain unchecked, collected […]
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