The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
UKIP voters are said to feel “betrayed, lied to and betrayed” as despite UKIP winning the European elections, many have woken up to find that Britain is still a multicultural country. One UKIP voter from Portsmouth Tracey Garlic told us “I feel betrayed, lied to and betrayed. We votes them into Portsmouth city council, and […]
Drinkers in the beer garden at the Black Lion Pub in Hammersmith are said to be relieved and recovering at the news that the girl this afternoon shouting “Oh My God!” into her mobile phone loudly was actually overstating the importance of the situation she was discussing, to the extent that she may have in […]
Deputy Prime Minister and Leader of the Liberal Democrats Nick Clegg has confirmed this morning that whilst he will not be heeding calls to step down from either position, he would be willing to grow a patch of facial hair above the lip in order to revive the fortunes of the ailing party. The statement […]
Relationships between the Kremlin and Buckingham Palace have deteriorated further today after the Prince Charles is widely to believed to have passed comments seemingly accusing the Russian Premier of looking and acting like Arnold out of Different Strokes. The hapless monarch in waiting is said to have voiced his feelings at a recent visit to […]
Deputy Prime Minister and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has made an impassioned plea for the return of his lost supporters in time for the European and Local elections by offering a free beaver for every voter. Seen by some as a risky ploy which if not successful could be referred to in the future […]
Jim Davidson has issued the British electorate with a stark ultimatum “If UKIP get in, I’ll stay in the country”. “I normally threaten to sling my hook if the Conservatives don’t get in. But someone’s got to take a stand. I’ve even bought a house on 1970’s Island but if UKIP get in I’m not […]
Nigel Farage has expressed “regret” for controversial remarks he made about Romanians, explaining that such things often happen if he has been eating cheese. “Look it wasn’t really me. It was the cheese talking. I was hungry. Someone offered me a lump of cheddar and the next thing I know I’m spouting nonsense about how […]
UKIP leader Nigel Farage is said to be incensed yet vindicated as the news broke this morning that overnight a Romanian family moved into his arse. Speaking on Andrew Neil’s political chat show ‘Afternoon Bollocks’ where he broke traditional chat show protocol by refusing to sit down, Mr Farage explained “I think they’re Romanian anyway. […]
The United Kingdom will change it’s name to Scotland in the event of a win for the “yes to independence” vote, according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking from the other side of bullet proof glass and wearing flame retardant trousers, Mr Cameron told a packed Glasgow press conference “We’ll be calling England Scotland, Wales […]
Teen heart throbs the BNP Youth are looking to capitalise on their new found fame by releasing a series of cover versions of British number one hit singles, starting with “Pass the dutchie pon the left hand side” by Musical Youth, a band with a very similar name. Looking very serious when they spoke to […]
News Toad 
You must be logged in to post a comment.