The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Bankers’ bonuses are to be paid in cheese according to Prime Minister David Cameron in a surprise U turn regarding the running of the state owned bank RBS. “Legally we can only make RBS do it, but we would urge other city based banks and financial institutions to do the same if they want to […]
The British public are tired of hearing about 1970s television personalities being questioned for historic misdemeanours and have called for them to branch out into different crimes according to new figures released today. The news comes as crowds packed the courtroom gallery today to watch TV’s Ken Barlow being accused of some things. One spectator […]
Britain stands on the precipice of an obesity crisis according to leading scientists who have bizarrely cited ‘food’ as the main reason. The claims have encountered controversy as it challenges the belief that you can eat as much food as you like as long as you buy it from Waitrose or Selfridges food hall. One […]
Immigrants are going to have to learn cockney rhyming slang, if they want to be considered either for benefits, employment or whatever misinformed middle England are more concerned about at the time, according to Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith. Speaking on the Andrew Marr show, the spoon faced politician explained “All we’re saying […]
Britain’s Doctors have gone on record this morning to say “Fuck it. Eat sugar.” Former Richard and Judy TV Doctor and now vaguely medical product endorser Dr Chris Steele told us “It’s not the new smoking, unless you smoke it. Nice people have it in labelled jars next to their tea and coffee. “It’s true […]
A re-elected non coalition Conservative Government will lick all the food in the food banks before any poor people can eat it, the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has confirmed today . “Our first thought was to actually eat all the food in the food banks but on closer inspection they didn’t seem to […]
People who have eaten the equivalent of a Ford Focus full of lard over the festive period are set to make their annual visit to a gym today where they will be politely chastised for their lack of exercise, excess weight, overall shabby lifestyle, and consequently talked into a years water tight membership contract. More […]
Education Secretary Michael Gove has publicly condemned the recent inclement weather spells which he has described as left wing and irresponsible. “If you look outside, it’s pissing it down again. And it’s quite clearly down to left wing academics, unions, public sector workers, professional bodies and anyone else who doesn’t vote for us. And the […]
Bankrupt British Nationalist Party Leader Nick griffin is embarking on a new life, living at one with nature in some woods, a BNP source confirmed this evening. “This has nothing to do with the fact that he’s broke and owes everybody money. He’s just pining for a time when Britain had very little in the […]
Britain is set to experience rainfall equivalent of the height of 3 tall men standing on top of each other or one giant, according to reports from the Met office this morning. Caused it seems by what is known as a constipated cloud which gathers moisture for a number of months before dropping it’s entire […]
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