The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Matt Damon has confirmed today that he will be taking on the role of rapper Ice Cube in the forthcoming film about the meteoric rise and fall of the rap band NWA. Damon who admits that this may be his most challenging role so far told us “People have commented that I may not look […]
Far right movements such as the BNP, Britain First and UKIP are considering a joint protest today following a leaked memo that all new cars manufactured in Britain are now designed to face Mecca. A spokesman for the Honda factory in Swindon explained that the change in production had not been universally popular but their […]
Former Smiths front man Morrissey has sent out a heartfelt plea to Britains pubs and restaurants to not ruin what would otherwise be a nice family lunch out, by overcooking all meat at their special fathers day Sunday carveries to the extent that people might just as well have stayed at home and cooked the […]
George Osborne has told a packed audience that a cap on mortgage loan amounts is essential in order to stop poor people from buying houses. Speaking to lots of people who can afford houses and also very nice dinner jackets, the Chancellor explained “We don’t want low to moderate earners to struggle with mortgage payments […]
The referendum on Scottish independence looks set to be put back a year to 2015 as both sides have argued that they have not had enough time to talk about it and discuss all the issues. Scotland’s First Minister and SNP leader, Alex Salmond, explained “It’s scarcely been mentioned in the media and half of […]
David Cameron has announced tough new measures against non-Britishness in schools which will involve a new Ofsted task force headed by the Duke of Edinburgh Prince Philip. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference the Prime Minister explained “Segregating pupils and force feeding religious ideology is completely unacceptable in our schools. OK, the school I […]
A Lib Dem Government would travel the country righting all wrongs and correcting the mistakes of their Conservative coalition leaders on a giant flying bollock, should they be voted in to power at the next General election, according to party Leader and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg. Several metres in length and hovering several foot […]
Michael Gove has this afternoon strenuously denied reports that he is being gradually eaten alive by Home Secretary Theresa May. Speaking on Andrew Neil’s political chat show ‘Afternoon Bollocks’ the Education Secretary explained “Theresa is a superb Home secretary. Fantastic. First rate. Top hole. And frankly anyone who thinks she is slowly and methodically eating […]
BNP style foreigner blamers Britain First are said to have called an emergency meeting this morning as it emerged that one senior member was yesterday informed by a veteran that in World War 2, Britain actually fought against the far right. One shocked activist said “You mean we co-operated with very large number of different […]
David Dinsmore, editor of popular right wing newspaper the Sun, has reportedly come to a compromise with pressure group ‘No more page three’ that from now on, all future models are only going to reveal one jubbly. After talks which are said to have spanned several days, the the overtly misogynist borderline racist one syllable […]
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