The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The makers of star Wars have gone on record today to dispel and denounce rumours that their new release is only a film and a film for children for that matter. A spokesman for the Walt Disney Company said rumours that the whole thing was just a film, that people would come into a cinema […]
A spokesman for the department of Health has confirmed today that the Government will be taxing any food, phrases or general behaviour that can be traced back to cheeky mockney dinner-monger Jamie Oliver. “We’ve been under pressure to think about public health and well being and admittedly we may have had our heads in the […]
The home secretary Theresa May has vowed that the Government will “systematically confront and challenge extremist ideology” as she detailed new curbs on “all those who spread hate, except us.” Speaking to a packed press conference Mrs May said “It’s absolutely fine for us to demonize immigrants, poor people, single mothers and the sick and […]
There’s no doubt these days that smoking makes you look very sophisticated. But style doesn’t always come cheap. And with the price of alcohol going up as well, a relaxing evening blowing smoke rings in a debonair fashion up at the bar of your favourite beer or wine emporium can be tough on your pocket. […]
A spokesman for the Home Office has apologised this morning following revelations that a number of asylum seekers were seen sipping tea from cups and wearing shirts. The news comes as some asylum seekers were ferried from London to Manchester in a Hummer, for exactly the same price to the tax-payer as a mini-bus, when […]
Police are to pretend to stop watching the Ecuadorian embassy until such time as Julian Assange, fooled into thinking the coast is clear, pokes his little head out and tries to do a runner. Earlier on today officers from the Metropolitan Police are understood to have left their positions standing in front of the embassy […]
The heat is on the and time is right according to the campaign for Britain to stay in the European Union, who have this morning announced the appointment of none other than afternoon Euro quiz icon Henry Kelly as their leader. In his first press conference as a serious political figure Mr Kelly assured critics that […]
David Cameron has today delivered a once in a generation speech to the nation in which he urged poor people to stop being poor right now and making everyone feel guilty. Speaking at the finale of the Conservative party conference the Prime Minister said “I’m going to end poverty once and for all with this […]
Workers who measure in at under 5ft 6″ in height are not “productive” enough to warrant being paid the new National Living Wage and as a result shouldn’t get it, according to Government Minister Matthew Hancock. Speaking at the Conservative Party conference Mr Hancock said “Everyone knows that short people are less likely to change […]
George Osborne has confirmed today that all future Government meetings will be held during the night, with Ministers retreating to darkened rooms to sleep in the day time. The news will not surprise many journalists who have inexplicably found it impossible to arrange press conferences in the daytime, unless indoors with no windows, for some […]
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