The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Green Party are being denied a voice in forthcoming television debates preceding the general election in order to save energy according to the BBC, ITV, Sky and Channel 4. A spokesman for all four channels told us “If we put them on the television, loads of people will watch it which will use more […]
The people of Clacton-on-Sea have rocked the political system as we know it to its core by electing the same bloke as they already had until such time as there is another election in a few months when the same bloke will be standing again. Newly appointed Mp Douglas Carswell told us “The people have […]
Young people should become less reliant on benefits and learn to live on their trust funds according to Prime Minister David Cameron. Speaking at the Conservative party conference the premier explained “We need to stop the cycle of young people leaving school and claiming benefits when they could merely tap into their trust funds like […]
David Cameron has had to endure yet another blow to his credibility this morning as news broke that 1980s rap and DJ duo Eric B and Rakim have defected to UKIP. Political expert Nick Robinson told us “They actually can’t vote themselves as they come from Long Island, New York and as far as we’re […]
Do you like icebergs? Cacti? Foreign languages? Paté? Well emigrating may well be the answer according to a new Government think tank who are recommending a drive to lessen net immigration figures, by asking indigenous Brits to move out for a while to make a little more room. Home secretary Theresa May explained “We can’t stop […]
The UK Independence Party have today announced that their first annual seance is to be held later on this year. Speaking from outside a meeting held today in Glastonbury, UKIP leader Nigel Farage told us “In order to respect the fact that many of our members have ties to spiritualism, angelic reiki healing and direct […]
Prince Charles is to take over from King Juan Carlos of Spain who has abdicated today. A shock to many, the ruling is apparently due to a recent European directive that went largely unnoticed at the time, where the appointment of new monarchs within the EU will be decided on how long they’ve been endlessly […]
Canadian crooner Justin Bieber has confirmed that as of today he is now a fully paid up member of the United Kingdom Independence Party. The cock womble songsmith took time out from defecating onto fans from the top of a ladder when he broke the news, which it is thought will further increase Nigel Farage’s […]
Deputy Prime Minister and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has made an impassioned plea for the return of his lost supporters in time for the European and Local elections by offering a free beaver for every voter. Seen by some as a risky ploy which if not successful could be referred to in the future […]
Jim Davidson has issued the British electorate with a stark ultimatum “If UKIP get in, I’ll stay in the country”. “I normally threaten to sling my hook if the Conservatives don’t get in. But someone’s got to take a stand. I’ve even bought a house on 1970’s Island but if UKIP get in I’m not […]
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