The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Britain will not give EU immigrants any more benefits unless they are prepared to ride around on the back of a lion, Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has warned, after Brussels launched legal action to get him to relax the rules. As part of a new chapter in ‘Compassionate Conservatism’, the Government is […]
High streets are stupid and should be filled in with concrete according to a recent poll. A bygone era when one could pay thruppence for parking and peruse some haberdashery or 1970s delicacies under one roof at the local Jenkinson, Abdul and Eric department store now seems like a distant memory. Grumpy old man Charlie […]
Boris Johnson has been asked by David Cameron to stop moving his belongings into number 10 and at least wait until a leadership contest according to Government sources. It’s thought that ever since he was turned away from Downing street 6 months ago after arriving with several removal lorries, he has been attempting to move […]
The British public this morning united as one to thank the English Defence League for being so quick off the mark to get together and defend Britain from extremists. By throwing bottles at the Police. A spokesman from the Metropolitan Police told us “Initially we felt after an attack from Islamic extremists we could have […]
Dr Brian May former string twanger with pop group Queen, astronomer and now badger farm owner has revealed to the public that he is increasingly unhappy about a number of things. “I’m not happy about a number of things” he explained. Several TV Doctors were unavailable for comment but we did manage to speak […]
Prime Minister David Cameron has said the coalition will continue ‘right up until polling day’ in 2015 and has issued a stark message to party dissenters and the British public alike “You’ll have to winkle us out with a shitty stick.” “We’ve had some disagreements within the the coalition and even within the party but […]
Following the news that Google have paid virtually no tax in Britain due to knowing a bloke in Ireland, the Prime Minister David Cameron and Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne have also announced that something or other may well change in the near future, possibly with regards to corporate tax law. The subject is […]
Marks and Spencer are set to change their sales approach to reverse declining sales by recruiting a crack team of underpant salesmen. In a move that has seen the high street store poaching staff from used car showrooms, mobile phone shops and double glazing companies the new role is set to see top performers earning […]
Plans to legalise same-sex marriage in England and Wales return to the Commons later, amid continuing opposition from some Conservative activists and MPs who have argued that the proposed legislation is ‘flawed, unconservative and divisive’ and more importantly will awake the Kraken. The Marriage Bill was approved by a 225-vote majority when it was last […]
Conservative Party Co-chairman Lord Feldman has said he feels ‘great relief’ today as the majority of grassroots party members have confirmed “He’s absolutely right you know. We are mad, swivel-eyed loons”. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference Lord Feldman admitted that at one point he thought he may have gone a bit far and […]
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