The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The British public have come together as one to thank BNP splinter group Britain First who according to their social media posts appear to have won World War One. One adoring fan told us “They’re my heroes. You won’t find them travelling and learning about new cultures because they’re too busy protecting Britain.. But they […]
Education Secretary Nicky Morgan and Home Secretary Theresa May are said to be at loggerheads this morning at news that former television soap school Grange Hill stands accused of overtly recruiting for extremest Islamic groups such as Al-Qaeda and Islamic State. One former Grange Hill viewer told us “The school hasn’t been on the television […]
The National Association of Alternative Rockers have confirmed this evening that all members will be continuing to express their individuality from the norm by dressing up identically, sporting the same haircuts, going to the same places and listening to exactly the same playlist in a display of uniformity that would make Kim Jong Un jealous. […]
Residents of Dorset and the surrounding counties are being urged today not to panic after a case of the Ebola virus was reported this morning. Bert Onions of Poole who this morning discovered he had the disease immediately called the local branch of Robert Dyas where he was due to work and announced that he […]
German Chancellor Angela Merkel has told David Cameron in no uncertain terms that whether the UK remains in the EU or not she will exercise her right to stick her index finger up his arse, most probably when he least expects it. “Whether Britain leaves the EU or not I have my index finger primed […]
Russian President Vladimir Putin has won an interim Eurovision song contest. Whilst the Premier has yet to be congratulated officially by other world leaders for his success, he has sent himself congratulations on behalf of Poland, Estonia and Sweden. Held behind closed doors it is reported that Putin sung a very catchy song about himself […]
Britain not only now has highly poisonous spiders but is actually overrun with them to a level approaching plague proportions according to a new study released today. The unsubstantiated report from an unnamed source states “They don’t seem to be biting people just yet and hardly anyone has seen them but that doesn’t mean that […]
The Government has strongly hinted that recreational drug use may soon be legal on the strict proviso that the drugs used are middle class drugs or at a push working class drugs that are being used by the middle classes. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference Prime Minister David Cameron said “We can’t just […]
Supermarket giant Tesco is rumoured this evening to have fled the country having been released today on bail following an interrogation by the serious fraud office. One industry insider told us “There’s no cast iron proof of guilt just yet but that Tesco’s not stupid and obviously decided to do a runner before they put […]
Kate Bush has confirmed that she will be running for United States presidency in 2016 in what is seen to be a new chapter in the Bush family political dynasty and could also mean the first ever female president. For many the choice may seem odd, Ms Bush having enjoyed a singing career in Britain […]
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