The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Are you over 50? Do you live alone? Do your family live a long way away? If so do you own a Michael Parkinson? If not would you like one? If you already own one, would you like to own another one? Well now you can as you may well be entitled to a free […]
BBC1’s religious shanty programme ‘Songs of Praise’ is to now have Simon Cowell commenting after each hymn and awarding points as part of what many see as a long overdue revamp of the programme. A spokesman for the BBC told us “It should have been done years ago. The show’s been running since 1961 where […]
Former News of the World editor Andy Coulson has firmly denied that asking a senior reporter investigating Callum Best to ‘do his phone’ suggested in an way tapping it or listening in on answer messages. Facing charges along with ‘evil Bonnie Langford’ Rebekah Brooks, Mr Coulson told the court “When I said ‘do his phone’ […]
It’s all soon going to be here again, sleigh bells, holly, and bizarre gift packs that nobody could ever want but will happily buy, wrap up and give to each other as presents. Once Guy Fawkes night is over it’s basically a straight run to Christmas and many people will be getting excited, none more so […]
Downing Street have today summoned the American Ambassador following revelations that neither David Cameron, his cabinet or the majority of the British public have been bugged by America. The shocking realisation that in the scheme of things Britain might not be very important on the world stage is said to have hit David Cameron hard. Speaking at […]
Sarah Palin has today made clear her intentions to continue the execution of non edible animals until such time that Piers Morgan backs down and concedes that guns aren’t dangerous. The one time vice presidential nominee, subsequent darling of the Tea Party and daughter of Monty Python actor Michael Palin, has responded to a request to […]
Britains religious leaders of all denominations have been called to account for the fact that worsening storm conditions may be caused by Gods arse. Dr Brian Cox told us “I’m a leading proponent of scientific explanations. But doesn’t take Einstein, or me for that matter, to work out that if we are all created by […]
It’s been one of Britains longest running series of all time, but today Director General of the BBC, Lord Hall of Birkenhead, has confirmed that the final part of the weather will be screened on Sunday. “We’ve nowhere else to go with it. We’ve had it all, strong winds, weak winds, swirly winds, hot snow, […]
The official indoctrination of Prince George into a bizarre state sponsored cult has taken place in the Chapel Royal at St James’s Palace in London. According to a Palace insider “it was a tough choice between Christianity, Islam, scientology and Neptune God of the sea but in the end Christianity offered the best rates with […]
Departments store owners John Lewis, Debenhams and Timothy Whites are preparing themselves for record sales of live animals as many of the British public look set to recreate realistic nativity scenes in their own homes, planning to have the whole thing set up by early to mid November. One buyer told us “Many people imagine […]
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