The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Residents of Birmingham and the surrounding provinces have been awarded a Government grant for a new accent as part of a new initiative announced today by Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne. Speaking at a this morning’s press conference Mr Osborne told us “We all know that times are hard but we need a high […]
Her Royal Highness Her majesty Elizabeth The Queen is apparently unavailable for comment today after the first 24 hours of “getting right on it” following yesterdays pay rise. In what was described by Royal sources as “serious result” in the form of a £2 million pay rise from the public purse, the Palace hosted one […]
The British public are going to have to follow Andy Murray around 24 hours a day cheering him on through megaphones if he is to stand a chance of winning this years Wimbledon tournament according to former British number one Timmy Henman. “I’m very confident that he can win but only if everyone cheers him […]
Iain Duncan Smith has announced this morning that sickness benefit will only be available for 1970s illnesses in part of further changes to the benefits system. “There was none of this long term sickness in the 1970s” he explained to a press conference, “people merely went to bed for a few days with a box […]
Old people must be sent down mines and not allowed up again unless they have dug up something of value in new legislation suggested this morning by Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne. Speaking this morning on the Andrew Marr show, the wealthy career politician explained “We can’t just have these people working all their lives […]
In a move that has prompted political analysts to suggest that he may well be losing the plot, the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has been accused of attempting to use chocolate money to ease the deficit. Governor of the Bank of England Sir Mervyn King told NewsToad “We couldn’t believe it! The Chancellor […]
The Metropolitan Police has been in the spotlight again as it transpires the notorious ‘Animal but not fish protection league’ which terrorised companies involved in the cooking, experimenting on and taking the piss out of animals but not fish, was in fact made up entirely of undercover police officers. The undercover operation, the cost of […]
United Kingdom Independence Party leader Nigel Fararage assured supporters and well wishers today that he is very much alive and in good health, if a little shaken, after a terrible accident where he reportedly tripped over and fell into a tax avoidance scheme. Speaking from his bed at a private hospital the jingoistic politician and […]
The entire population of Africa are set to get together and build a giant Bono by way of thanks for the singer speaking on their behalf, according to singer Bono who was speaking at the G8 summit today on behalf of the people of Africa. The speech in which the singer also announced the launch […]
I have a confession to make. About 20 years ago at a minor music festival my mate Dave and I decided to see if we could earn a bit of extra cash by performing “Didgeridoo therapy”. We would find potential punters with names like “Roman Hawkmoon”, lie them down and ask them to imagine they […]
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