The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Prime Minister David Cameron has said the coalition will continue ‘right up until polling day’ in 2015 and has issued a stark message to party dissenters and the British public alike “You’ll have to winkle us out with a shitty stick.” “We’ve had some disagreements within the the coalition and even within the party but […]
Following the news that Google have paid virtually no tax in Britain due to knowing a bloke in Ireland, the Prime Minister David Cameron and Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne have also announced that something or other may well change in the near future, possibly with regards to corporate tax law. The subject is […]
Marks and Spencer are set to change their sales approach to reverse declining sales by recruiting a crack team of underpant salesmen. In a move that has seen the high street store poaching staff from used car showrooms, mobile phone shops and double glazing companies the new role is set to see top performers earning […]
Plans to legalise same-sex marriage in England and Wales return to the Commons later, amid continuing opposition from some Conservative activists and MPs who have argued that the proposed legislation is ‘flawed, unconservative and divisive’ and more importantly will awake the Kraken. The Marriage Bill was approved by a 225-vote majority when it was last […]
Conservative Party Co-chairman Lord Feldman has said he feels ‘great relief’ today as the majority of grassroots party members have confirmed “He’s absolutely right you know. We are mad, swivel-eyed loons”. Speaking at a hastily assembled press conference Lord Feldman admitted that at one point he thought he may have gone a bit far and […]
United Kingdom Indenial Party chief Nigel Fararage has been advised by aides that he must avoid going back to Scotland at all costs or risk being burnt to death in a giant wicker man along with a variety of livestock. Already herded into a pub for safe keeping in Edinburgh whilst the finishing touches were […]
David Beckham is to retire from football at the end of this season after an illustrious 20-year career, to follow his dream of getting absolutely munted on a cocktail of narcotics and attending all night raves. Reportedly ‘insanely jealous’ of ravers who get to stay up all night, whilst he has had to get an […]
David Cameron has today joined other politicians in expressing condemnation at recent revelations that not only have the oil industry been fixing prices, but also allegedly making oil and petrol out of squashed animals. “Look, I don’t think anyone can honestly say they haven’t trodden on a dog or a rabbit at some point in […]
The list of veteran TV presenters in trouble with the law grew even longer today as weather guru and role model for millions, Michael Fish was accused of siphoning off the most favourable weather for his own personal use, according to a Guardian exposé today. The controversial climatalogical soothsayer has allegedly been photographed sitting under […]
David Cameron has reportedly flown to Washington to ‘tell’ on his senior ministers who have tried to speed up a referendum to pull out of Europe behind his back. Education Secretary Michael Gove has apparently received a text from the Prime Minister saying “You wait, I’m telling on you. Then you’ll be sorry” before David […]
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