The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Cigarettes are to start using invisible packaging as part of a series of new measures to discourage smokers. Secretary of State for Health, Member of Parliament for South West Surrey, and supporter of homeopathic woo, Jeremy Hunt said “If people can’t find their cigarettes then they’re less likely to smoke. The only slight flaw is that […]
David Cameron has told grass roots conservative supporters that he has listened to their views and is now prepared to act on them. From now on, he told party members this morning, there would be no more hard nosed fiscal policies given with a straight face under the vague guise of compassion, and it would […]
His Royal Highness Prince Charles has today urged the public to ignore scientifically proven cures for illnesses and instead rely on sugar pills soaked with water, that may have been in the same jug as some water that may have touched an ingredient which is not proven in anyway to cure the affliction in question. […]
British scientists have hailed the arrival of a new diet that if followed correctly has a 100% success rate for losing weight and could completely eradicate the UK’s obesity crisis. Dubbed the “Eat less, Poo more” diet as it involves a combination of eating less food and passing more stools, it is already popular […]
Iain Duncan Smith has announced this morning that sickness benefit will only be available for 1970s illnesses in part of further changes to the benefits system. “There was none of this long term sickness in the 1970s” he explained to a press conference, “people merely went to bed for a few days with a box […]
I have a confession to make. About 20 years ago at a minor music festival my mate Dave and I decided to see if we could earn a bit of extra cash by performing “Didgeridoo therapy”. We would find potential punters with names like “Roman Hawkmoon”, lie them down and ask them to imagine they […]
Unhealthy foods that appeal to children should have a minimum level of swearing on the packaging to discourage parents from buying them for their children, according to Shadow Health Secretary Andy Burnham. Labour will today propose new legal limits on levels of fat, sugar and salt that can be present in childrens food, before covering […]
Alternative medical practitioners around the world were toasting the success of a British Consultant alternative healer who has successfully completed the worlds first aura transplant. In an 8 hour operation that required the assistance of homeopaths, reiki healers, spiritual physicians and hopi ear candle therapists, Dr Ben ‘Shakras’ Goldcacre succeeded in surgically fitting an entire […]
Hospitals around the UK have been closing wards to visitors in the hope of preventing the spread of an incredibly unpleasant virus known as the Flooby-Doobies. Jeremy Hunt the Health Secretary has said that the 972% daily rise in cases of the affliction, which causes highly irrational shopping habits, was unexplained. He has also warned […]
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