Britain will be having an Okey Cokey Brexit where it puts its left foot in, out, in out and then shakes it all about according to Prime Minister Theresa May.
UK ambassador to EU resigns as EU countries refuse to speak English
January 4, 2017 by Leave a Comment
The UK’s ambassador to the EU quit due to not understanding what anyone was talking about it has emerged today.
“Thanks Beardy! You’ve got me until 2025!” says May
January 3, 2017 by Leave a Comment
Theresa May has the best part of a decade to do whatever the fuck she likes unchallenged and unhindered thanks to the British public’s steadfast refusal to trust a man with a beard.
“Strikes show nearly as much contempt for the public as I do” says May
December 19, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Prime Minister Theresa May has voiced her secret admiration for the forthcoming strikes as she feels they treat the public with contempt, which is something she holds deep to her heart.
Conservative Government to make tough decisions due to financial mess inherited from themselves
November 24, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The Government are going to have to make some tough decisions due the appalling state of the public purse that they inherited from the last Government, which was themselves, according to Chancellor of the Exchequer Philip Hammond.
“Yes we are controlled by secret lizard people” admits May
November 6, 2016 by Leave a Comment
David Icke is right and MPs are under the direct control of lizard people, Prime Minister Theresa May has admitted today.
Britain to pull out of drinking in moderation
November 6, 2016 by
Britain is to opt out of the EU policy of moderate drinking at meal times in favour of the traditional British policy of getting as drunk as a monkey on an empty stomach on a Friday night.
Captain Cook to fuck off back to his own country as Australia bans immigration by boat
October 30, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Captain Cook, all his descendants and anyone who looks a bit like him will have to fuck off back to their own country following a landmark ruling today to ban all immigrants who attempt to enter the country by boat.
Government to escape to private island following Brexit
October 12, 2016 by Leave a Comment
Theresa May’s Government are planning to escape to a privately owned tropical island following a hard Brexit according to Conservative party insiders.
Public warned not to approach rapidly inflating Liam Fox
September 10, 2016 by Leave a Comment
The British public have been warned not to approach a rapidly expanding Liam Fox who reportedly began inflating at an alarming rate following a talk at a Conservative party dinner yesterday.
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