The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Britain must man up and stop reacting to alcohol like a girl according to a report from a Government think tank released this morning. The report commissioned by Prime Minister David Cameron has warned that Britain must get “drink fit” if it is going to keep up with the rest of Europe. Speaking at a […]
The Bank of England have been urged today to use whatever fiscal powers they have at their disposal as throughout Britain house prices began vibrating for the first time in recent history. One owner of a larger than average house told us “It’s absolutely terrible. If my house is increasing in value then naturally I […]
David Cameron is reportedly set for a series of private meetings within G20 with another delegate that apparently no-one else can see and is known solely as Roland. One journalist covering the meeting in Moscow told us “It’s been a funny conference so far. Nobody seemed to want to talk to Mr Cameron but he […]
In a move that has prompted political analysts to suggest that he may well be losing the plot, the Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has been accused of attempting to use chocolate money to ease the deficit. Governor of the Bank of England Sir Mervyn King told NewsToad “We couldn’t believe it! The Chancellor […]
The pub trade was today lamenting the end of the 2013 series of Britains Got Talent as husbands, boyfriends and male platonic live in friends throughout the country returned home from the pub this morning . Motorists faced delays of several hours as many city centres were closed today due to the staggering hoards of […]
Britain will not give EU immigrants any more benefits unless they are prepared to ride around on the back of a lion, Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has warned, after Brussels launched legal action to get him to relax the rules. As part of a new chapter in ‘Compassionate Conservatism’, the Government is […]
The British public this morning united as one to thank the English Defence League for being so quick off the mark to get together and defend Britain from extremists. By throwing bottles at the Police. A spokesman from the Metropolitan Police told us “Initially we felt after an attack from Islamic extremists we could have […]
David Cameron has reportedly flown to Washington to ‘tell’ on his senior ministers who have tried to speed up a referendum to pull out of Europe behind his back. Education Secretary Michael Gove has apparently received a text from the Prime Minister saying “You wait, I’m telling on you. Then you’ll be sorry” before David […]
Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has vowed to redouble his efforts in placing his penis into a food processor despite clear evidence that it becomes a little bit shorter every time rather than longer as he originally predicted. The move comes as Moody’s have downgraded Britain’s credit rating from a AAA rating to AA1 […]
Robert Mugabe is to be flown into Britain to offer advice on fiscal policy as part of emergency Government measures, it was revealed today. Having recently brought inflation in his country from a figure of millions down to a mere several thousand per cent and being renowned for his no nonsense policies of bulldozing the […]
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