The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Romanian and Bulgarian ambassadors to Britain have been summoned to Downing street for urgent talks this morning following the complete absence of the stampede of immigrants expected on New Years day. Prime Minister David Cameron explained “We were supposed to wake up on New years day to find them all camping on roundabouts and […]
A new influx of migrants expected to all arrive at the same time on Jan 1st 2014 will steal the houses of hard working people brick by brick before barbecuing and eating any household pets, according to a stark warning issued today by the Daily Mail. Keep Britain Britishy campaigner and Daily Mail knee jerk […]
Former Co-operative Bank boss Paul Flowers has told critics that the Daily Mail’s recent video of him buying cocaine was part of a double disappointment to him as apparently it wasn’t even good stuff. “I wouldn’t have minded if I had spent the rest of the night bouncing about like the bastard love child of […]
The Daily Mail have today pleaded with recent immigrants to stop contributing so efficiently to society as it may leave their readers with no focus for their hatred, forcing them to examine the inanity and hypocrisy of their own shallow lives. It also may affect the future of the paper itself. A study by University […]
Men who wear red trousers are rapidly increasing in numbers and infiltrating all levels of society according to reports released this week. BRTs as they are commonly known have historically inhabited seaside towns with a relatively low concentration of one per spare mile as due to their individualist nature they have tended to avoid their own […]
The Daily Mail has had to hire extra temporary staff to deal with the huge amount of post containing letters of apology from members of the British public. It appears this morning that despite many warnings from the Daily Mail over several decades, Jesus Xavier Disraeli aged 34 from Bolivia, arrived in Britain unchecked, collected […]
A Labour Government will be directing it’s attentions to people who “look a bit flash and give the impression of being minted” according to leader Ed Miliband. In a policy that will be calculated on knee-jerk reactions to first impressions rather than actual income. It’s thought that a group of Daily Mail readers will be […]
Edinburgh Zoo has today become the focus for world wide condemnation on the news that yet another panda has exhibited loose morals and managed to get themselves up the duff. An editorial in the Daily Mail has explained “They dress provocatively and they only get themselves pregnant in order to get a larger enclosure in […]
Prison populations are said to be at ‘bursting point’ following David Cameron’s decision to allow over 70s on juries which has unexpectedly resulted in everyone being found guilty. Defendants in crown court have been told to expect long sentences on the grounds that “They all do don’t they, they’ve never had to do national service and […]
The British public are reportedly up in arms this morning as several days after the Royal baby’s arrival it doesn’t appear to be doing very much. One disgruntled member of the public told us “Once again we bring these descendants of tyrannical despots into a life of unbridled luxury at the tax payers expense and […]
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