The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
The Sun newspaper has confirmed today that under recently increasing pressure from protest groups to ban boobs on page three, it has decided to keep them but offset them with a picture of a mans bollocks to make it fair. “It’s not fair that men have to buy the sun when they want to see […]
Britain is set to abolish the rule whereby every Police Officer must start at the bottom and work their way up, in order to give all senior positions to promising graduates, experienced managers from other sectors and mad as biscuits foreign police chiefs. Home Secretary Theresa May has frequently argued that a move away from […]
Men who wear red trousers are rapidly increasing in numbers and infiltrating all levels of society according to reports released this week. BRTs as they are commonly known have historically inhabited seaside towns with a relatively low concentration of one per spare mile as due to their individualist nature they have tended to avoid their own […]
Radio 2 have announced today that they will be following radio one in refusing to play Robbie Williams on the basis that he is now middle aged and makes everybody else feel old. According to Chris Evans “Our target age group of over 35s are trying desperately to cling on to their lost youth but […]
England have proved themselves a force to be reckoned with this evening having destroyed middle aged celebrity gardener Monty Don with a final score of of 4-1 “I know I lost but I had a lovely time admiring such a well mown lawn so I don’t begrudge the victory. And you all looked so pleased. […]
The fate of the beautiful game over the coming week is hanging in the balance following a statement by Environment secretary Owen Paterson that badgers have been moving the goalposts. “The badgers moved the goalposts. We’re dealing with a wild animal, subject to the vagaries of the weather,disease and breeding patterns, that likes nothing more […]
The Government have today been accused today of pandering to the wishes of hard working people. Speaking at a press conference this morning shouty number cruncher Eddie Balls warned that hard working people would not longer be able to expect an easy ride under a Labour administration. “First it was the bankers, then politicians, now […]
The government’s free schools programme is simply a front for creating religious dogma and forcing pupils to worship Michael Gove, according to campaigners. The National Secular Society said the growing influence of faith groups could undermine the integrity of Britain’s state schools, in particular when pupils are being taught that the world was created in […]
Companies and/or Governments who have been up to something or other have today been discussing whether or not they should continue with what they’re doing after revelations that some of the inevitable public protests may include celebrities. The added factor that some protesters may also be actors, singers or clothes designers has put things in […]
A spokesman for Channel 4 has today asked that the John McCririck age discrimination issue be finally laid to rest as the veteran broadcaster is to continue working for Channel 4 where he will start his new position on Monday, as a horse. Sacked from his previous position of wearing a silly hat, hanging around […]
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