The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
It’s all soon going to be here again, sleigh bells, holly, and bizarre gift packs that nobody could ever want but will happily buy, wrap up and give to each other as presents. Once Guy Fawkes night is over it’s basically a straight run to Christmas and many people will be getting excited, none more so […]
Downing Street have today summoned the American Ambassador following revelations that neither David Cameron, his cabinet or the majority of the British public have been bugged by America. The shocking realisation that in the scheme of things Britain might not be very important on the world stage is said to have hit David Cameron hard. Speaking at […]
Sarah Palin has today made clear her intentions to continue the execution of non edible animals until such time that Piers Morgan backs down and concedes that guns aren’t dangerous. The one time vice presidential nominee, subsequent darling of the Tea Party and daughter of Monty Python actor Michael Palin, has responded to a request to […]
Britains religious leaders of all denominations have been called to account for the fact that worsening storm conditions may be caused by Gods arse. Dr Brian Cox told us “I’m a leading proponent of scientific explanations. But doesn’t take Einstein, or me for that matter, to work out that if we are all created by […]
It’s been one of Britains longest running series of all time, but today Director General of the BBC, Lord Hall of Birkenhead, has confirmed that the final part of the weather will be screened on Sunday. “We’ve nowhere else to go with it. We’ve had it all, strong winds, weak winds, swirly winds, hot snow, […]
The official indoctrination of Prince George into a bizarre state sponsored cult has taken place in the Chapel Royal at St James’s Palace in London. According to a Palace insider “it was a tough choice between Christianity, Islam, scientology and Neptune God of the sea but in the end Christianity offered the best rates with […]
Departments store owners John Lewis, Debenhams and Timothy Whites are preparing themselves for record sales of live animals as many of the British public look set to recreate realistic nativity scenes in their own homes, planning to have the whole thing set up by early to mid November. One buyer told us “Many people imagine […]
Doctors, scientists and healthcare professionals have been left shame faced today after a proponent of reiki healing, Jay Diamond, asked them if they had ever seen a thought. Speaking on her morning show on Unity Radio she told her several listeners “People might think that reiki healing is simply made up nonsense used to earn a […]
Former Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan has persuaded the entire population of America to stop using guns and wean themselves of the habit by parading around brandishing water pistols instead. Speaking on CNN Mr Morgan said “It’s not the ideal result. I was hoping America would ditch their guns completely and instead point their fingers […]
Customers who disagree with today’s 9.2% pay rise can go and heat their homes and cook their dinner using gas from their own anuses according to a spokesman from British Gas this morning. “We understand public frustration of prices rising faster than incomes. But it’s not our fault that people don’t earn enough. And you […]
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