The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
In yet another setback to the Government’s attempts to extradite beard sporting extremist Abu Qatada, the Court of Appeal has today refused the Government permission to take its fight to the supreme court, concluding that he must be treated in exactly the same way as hairy American rockers ZZ Top. Citing reasons that the Jordanian Government […]
The News of the death of Former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has been over shadowed today by the news that Former Prime Minister and war mongerer Tony Blair has been hotly tipped to be taking over as the next Doctor Who when Matt Smith hangs up his sonic screwdriver in December of this year. Speaking […]
Newspapers and television news stations alike have come together as one in condemning the ‘deplorable actions’ of newly appointed Toddler Police Commissioner Tommy Perkins who in just one day of office is facing a charge of gross misconduct. Despite the responsibilities that go with his high office he has already left an important meeting to […]
Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne has come under fire again this morning having received a complaint from a benefit claimant that the Tory Minister parked his Land Rover firmly in his sphincter. “After being made redundant from a job I’d had for 30 years I had just been to sign on for the first […]
People between jobs and struggling to survive on subsistence benefits should minimise food bills by simply tucking into themselves and other benefit claimants, according to Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith. “They all need to get together and decide by rolling dice or playing twister who should be first for the pot. For solitary […]
Lord Carey has this morning issued Prime Minister David Cameron with a stark warning “Start persecuting homosexuals again or we’ll set God on you”. Speaking at his annual pre-chocolate egg day address, the Former Archbishop of Canterbury told us “God loves everyone. But he loves us more because we go to church and wear special […]
David Miliband is planning to leave parliament to pursue his life long dream of being a train driver a close friend has confirmed to NewsToad. “He’s always wanted to be a train driver and finally he’s going to be one. He’s only been doing politics whilst he has been waiting for a position to come […]
In a week that has seen David Cameron not only accidentally invited to a meeting to choose his successor but actually nominated to take over from himself as Party Leader, moves are apparently afoot amongst grass roots conservatives to get rid of David Cameron’s replacement as soon as he or she replaces David Cameron. One […]
The Labour party have come out as odds on favourites in the event of a fist fight with the Conservatives, according to recently published data from the Office for National Statistics. A spokesman told us “It’s all very well them standing in parliament arguing about methods of fiscal deficit reduction, but sooner or later it’s […]
Senior Liberal Democrats have today warned members that the party no longer has enough support to be viable as a political institution alone, and as a result should also start making cheese. Speaking at their spring conference Party leader and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg underlined the reasons behind the changes. “Jessops, Blockbuster and Comet […]
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