The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
MPs have issued a cross party statement that whilst they will not be refusing to take their £7000 a year pay rise, they will be demonstrating their displeasure by refusing to enjoy it. David Cameron explained “Look, times are obviously very difficult for many people. So instead of awarding ourselves a huge pay rise, we […]
People not going on holiday throughout the UK have been celebrating the welcome news that due to unprecedented flight delays, people who are going on holiday aren’t going on holiday either. Many non holiday makers have been celebrating in airport bars in order to see people not being able to go on holiday first hand. […]
The tax disc which shows that motorists have paid vehicle excise duty is to be phased out and instead replaced with a giant wanger, Chancellor George Osborne has announced in his Autumn Statement. Originally devised 93 years ago, the system of showing that your vehicle is paid up by exhibiting an over sized cock was […]
George Osborne has today fended off accusations that he is incompetent and irresponsible as widespread criticism mounts that he is issuing an Autumn statement in Winter. Shadow Chancellor Eddie Balls told us “It’s ridiculous. Everybody knows that December is in Winter. If he can’t get that right then how can he be left in charge […]
Dappy from N-Dubz is said to be in a critical but stable condition today having been eaten by a horse. The incident occurred during filming of a new TV series where the hapless rapper is attacked by a different animal every week. This episode’s assailant, a 4 year old thoroughbred steed, was just supposed to […]
Cigarettes are to start using invisible packaging as part of a series of new measures to discourage smokers. Secretary of State for Health, Member of Parliament for South West Surrey, and supporter of homeopathic woo, Jeremy Hunt said “If people can’t find their cigarettes then they’re less likely to smoke. The only slight flaw is that […]
Nigella Lawson is set to top the charts of best selling books this Christmas with her latest literary offering ‘The not very hungry cook book’ “I wrote a lot of it in the London borough of Chingford. So I was originally going to call it Ching food. But the ‘not very hungry cook book’ had […]
A new Independent Scotland will operate as a musical according to SNP leader Alex Salmond’s white paper released today. Speaking to a packed Press Conference Mr Salmond explained “I have a vision of a new Scotland, singing and dancing together from first thing in the morning to just before bed time. Obviously I will be […]
Knock Knock. Who’s there? Well actually he wasn’t. But in many respects he was, as it took Doctor Who played by Hurt, Tennant and Smith to finally convince the world that Iran should really have nuclear power. An insider from the talks in Geneva explained “It was quite clear that no-one really had their heart […]
Disgraced former Priest, Labour Councillor, charity boss and Chairman of the Cooperative bank Paul Flowers is set to present a new series of Jim’ll Fix It, according to BBC insiders. Mr Flowers who is due to be changing his first name to Jim specifically for the new position told of his excitement at bagging the […]
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