The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Party leaders are said to be ‘upset and disappointed’ at the results of the latest polls released today which suggest that most of the British public are intending to shun all major and minor political parties at the forthcoming General election, and instead vote for a wanking monkey.
Prime Minister Theresa May has today ruled out participating in any TV debates before the forthcoming General Election as it might make her look like a tiny bit of a cunt.
Russian Premier Vladimir Putin is thought to be stumped as to how he might sabotage the forthcoming UK general election without inadvertently making it better, according to Kremlin sources.
Theresa May has only passed legislation to take mobility cars away from disabled people because it says so in the bible according to an interview with the God fearing Prime minister.
Donald Trump is to travel down the Mall to meet the Queen in a giant golden penis after an aide mistakenly requested a golden under-carriage for the procession.
God wants you to have diabetes and he shows this by sending us his only rabbit, laden with mass produced chocolates, made by faceless corporations, according to Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby.
Women should stop getting their knickers in a twist and make everyone a cup of tea according to Sunderland boss David Moyes.
An independent Scotland could govern Gibraltar thus allowing both to remain in Europe according to Scottish First Minister Nicola Sturgeon.
Every single economist and financial analyst ever has wished Britain the best of luck in it’s exit from the single market, but has ruled out sticking around to watch it happen. A spokesman for credit rating agency Standard and Poors said “I’ve been warning against a clusterfuck of a recession for years and now its […]
Islamic State have today claimed responsibility for a spate of BMW drivers driving aggressively and erratically cutting up other road users and getting points on their licenses.
News Toad 
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