The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Downing Street have today summoned the American Ambassador following revelations that neither David Cameron, his cabinet or the majority of the British public have been bugged by America. The shocking realisation that in the scheme of things Britain might not be very important on the world stage is said to have hit David Cameron hard. Speaking at […]
Sarah Palin has today made clear her intentions to continue the execution of non edible animals until such time that Piers Morgan backs down and concedes that guns aren’t dangerous. The one time vice presidential nominee, subsequent darling of the Tea Party and daughter of Monty Python actor Michael Palin, has responded to a request to […]
Former Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan has persuaded the entire population of America to stop using guns and wean themselves of the habit by parading around brandishing water pistols instead. Speaking on CNN Mr Morgan said “It’s not the ideal result. I was hoping America would ditch their guns completely and instead point their fingers […]
Indigenous Australians throughout the country have been celebrating through the night at the news that under new management, all immigrants will now be turned away, a policy set to be backdated for the last 400 years. One Aboriginal Australian told us “It’s all been very nice but after 400 years it’s high time they all […]
David Cameron is reportedly set for a series of private meetings within G20 with another delegate that apparently no-one else can see and is known solely as Roland. One journalist covering the meeting in Moscow told us “It’s been a funny conference so far. Nobody seemed to want to talk to Mr Cameron but he […]
Barack Obama and David Cameron have today indicated that they will join forces to drop bombs on the rogue state of Puppet Island, with or without a United Nations resolution. In a joint statement, said in unison, the two premiers told a packed press conference “We’ve got loads of missiles and it’s time to pile in […]
Edinburgh Zoo has today become the focus for world wide condemnation on the news that yet another panda has exhibited loose morals and managed to get themselves up the duff. An editorial in the Daily Mail has explained “They dress provocatively and they only get themselves pregnant in order to get a larger enclosure in […]
In a surprise change of direction this morning the foreign office have changed their advice for travelers to “Fuck it. Life’s too short. Let’s all go on holiday to Yemen.” Speaking at a press conference this morning Foreign Secretary William Hague Well explained “We recently asked people to stay away from the place but then […]
Unofficial election results from Zimbabwe today indicate that Robert Mugabe has yet again secured the country’s presidency, as well as winning X-Factor, Zimbabwe’s Got Talent and landing himself a nice rib of beef in his local pub’s weekly meat raffle. Though official results are yet to be published it appears that they will also confirm […]
The Spanish Government has today expressed ‘anger and disappointment’ at plans to resculpt the famous Rock of Gibraltar into a giant penis. Speaking at a press conference this morning a Government spokesman argued “It is bad enough that you will be able to see this giant phallic monstrosity from 80 miles away. But the fact […]
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