The news 'they' don't want you to hear. Because it isn't true.
Dull people throughout the western world have today made up for yesterdays “Jesus doesn’t want the shops open day” by attending shops, town centres and shopping lifestyle villages en masse, as the Boxing day sales offered these people a welcome return to glossing over the futility of their meaningless lives. One shopper we spoke to […]
Hi My name’s Anjem Choudary and when I’m not preaching hate or arguing with John Humphreys on Radio 4 I like nothing more than celebrating Christmas. I’d celebrate it every single day given half a chance. I love all of it, the tree, the presents, the double episode of Eastenders but most of all I […]
A new influx of migrants expected to all arrive at the same time on Jan 1st 2014 will steal the houses of hard working people brick by brick before barbecuing and eating any household pets, according to a stark warning issued today by the Daily Mail. Keep Britain Britishy campaigner and Daily Mail knee jerk […]
Charles Saatchi, his estranged wife Nigella Lawson and their former personal assistants Francesca and Elisabetta Grillo have all been sentenced to fuck the fuck off, in a surprise ruling from Judge Robin Johnson. Passing sentence Judge Johnson said “I can’t be arsed to wait for the jury to make their minds up. I’m overruling any […]
A spokesman for the Association of High Street Retailers has apologised after manufacturing difficulties and unforeseen shipping issues meant that the last ill thought out shitty gift idea box set, that no-one would ever buy with sound mind and nobody would ever want to receive, was sold after a scuffle at Debenhams in Shitterton early […]
Secretary of State for Health Jeremy Hunt has this morning announced the opening of new free hospitals staffed by unqualified doctors and nurses in order to maximise round the clock care for patients. “You’ve got a choice of waiting months for an operation by a so called qualified surgeon or you can be operated on […]
People from the Newcastle area are going to have to adopt a Southern English dialect or risk losing benefits according to Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith. “I’ve had another epiphany. I was busy imposing tough new language tests for migrants and then I realised that half the country don’t speak English properly. Mainly […]
In a surprise turnaround from the Australian High Court this morning, the new legislation banning gay marriage and annulling recent gay marriages is to be reversed again under a number of strict conditions. The law will now allow marriage between two men in the Australian Capital territory as long as one of them looks like a […]
A brainwashed couple have won the right to be married by a cult at their main head quarters following a ruling from the supreme court today. Grinning in a scary fashion with huge huge eyes the Bride to be Louisa Hodkin told a packed press conference “It’s been a long drawn out case, but at last […]
Work and Pensions Secretary Iain Duncan Smith has hit back at critics who claim that he couldn’t run a piss up in a brewery with the clear response “I could. I could run a piss-up in a brewery.” “It’s just a clear, simple and concise system. Rather than make the beer in the brewery and […]
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